The Monkey Stole My Toothbrush

I mean he definitely lived in the jungle before I came in to visit. I checked into a new paradise and my room booklet came with a list of do's and don'ts. I thought that was odd so I had myself a read. First on the list don't feed the monkeys. WHAT, MONKEYS? Dude, Im still getting use to the geckos, cockroaches, spiders, mosquitos, free roaming cows and now MONKEYS? I mean I love a monkey, as long as they are tied to a chain. I use to want one until I realized they are kinda mean. Anyways, I asked the friendly staff about these alleged "monkeys" and they brought me a SLINGSHOT. That did not make me feel better. Did I mention that the room is wide open on a cliff on the ocean. I mean I am not complaining just getting my barring. I want to know what can attack me and what is harmless. So today after being out of the room for a while, I noticed the cat....the cat that had just ate a snake....backing off of something in the trees at the entrance of my room. Of course it was a monkey. That slingshot works....he took my soap, my toothbrush and left me some poop. Don't worry mama, I can scream pretty loud and there are people around to save me.